I’m Not Picky, My Sensories Are Spicy

Welcome to my Unmasking Autism series. This is where I share what I’m learning as I begin to understand my autistic experience and gently come home to myself. These posts are personal, honest, and written with tenderness for the parts of me that have spent years surviving.

The “Picky Eater” Shame I Carried for Years

All of my adult life, I have felt inadequate because I am food picky. Like toddler kind of food picky, okay???? And I always seemed to be the outlier in that situation.

I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in a restaurant or at someone’s table feeling embarrassed before the food even arrived, already preparing my explanation in my head. It was not just about preference. It felt like a character flaw. Like I was immature or difficult or high maintenance.

And then there were the expectations.

Try new foods. Just take a bite. You might like it. Don’t be dramatic.

Meanwhile, the sight and smell alone would make my whole body feel like it was screaming NO. It honestly felt like perfectly legal torture inflicted by people in the name of “adults.”

I spent years thinking I was the problem.

Then I learned I am autistic.

And suddenly everything started making sense.

Learning how autism impacts sensory processing, including taste, texture, and smell, validated years of feeling weird and misunderstood. Because I’m not picky.

My sensories are spicy!

That is the best way I know how to describe it. My brain and nervous system experience certain foods as overwhelming, not just unfamiliar. Some textures feel unbearable. Some smells hit me like a wall. Some combinations make my body react as if it’s unsafe, even if the food itself is perfectly normal for someone else.

This is not me being childish.

This is my nervous system doing its job, just with a different sensitivity level than what people expect.

Safe Foods Are Not “A Phase”

As I started learning about autism, I also started learning about safe foods. And once I had language for it, I saw it everywhere throughout my life.

Safe foods are not just comfort foods. They are regulation foods.

They are the foods that feel predictable. The foods that do not surprise my senses. The foods

I can eat without bracing myself. And for me, safe foods do not just support my sensory needs, they support my ability to function.

Because when I’m not eating well, I’m not regulated.

And that affects everything.

I also have dietary needs. I am gluten free and dairy free, so my safe foods have to meet my taste, texture, and smell needs, but also my tummy needs. My body needs food that will not leave me feeling sick, inflamed, or foggy. It is all connected.

Enter My Chef and the Oats That Changed Everything

While I was learning about safe foods and realizing how much I’ve struggled nutritionally, I hired a private chef to help me with all of my nutritional helplessness and deficiencies in the kitchen.

And listen. This was one of the kindest things I have done for myself.

Because instead of shaming me for what I struggle with, he helped me work with my brain and body. He made food feel less stressful and more possible.

He also introduced me to oats.

And it was love at first bite.

These are not just any oats. You have to hire my chef to understand. (I’m kidding. Kind of.)

But truly, the way he prepared them made them become a safe food and a hyperfocus food for me. Once he realized that, he started ideating variations that still stayed within my sensory comfort zone.

And that is how we arrived at chocolate oats.

And let me tell youuuuu. OWWWWWWW.

It was the kind of safe food win that feels emotional. Like, wait… you mean I can eat something that meets my needs, tastes amazing, and supports my body too?

Yes. Yes I can.

Sidebar / Private Chef in DFW

If you’re in the DFW area and interested in private chef services, you can reach out to Chef Sloan here.

He’s been a huge part of helping me build meals that support my sensory needs and overall wellness.

What I’m Learning

The point of all of this is not just that I found a new favorite food.

It is that safe foods matter.

They are important to understand, honor, and support. They are not something to mock.

They are not something to “grow out of.” They are often the bridge between survival and stability for autistic people.

And I am learning that meeting my needs is not something I have to apologize for.

I am allowed to eat in a way that keeps me regulated. I am allowed to have preferences. I am allowed to protect my nervous system. I am allowed to feed myself with compassion.

I’m not picky.

My sensories are spicy. And now that I know that, I can finally stop treating myself like I’m wrong for it.

Thank you for being here. If any part of this resonated, I hope you feel a little less alone. I’m still learning, still unmasking, and still choosing compassion over shame one moment at a time.

xo,

jd

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