Finding My Safe Foods / Why I Eat the Same Things Every Day (and Stopped Feeling Embarrassed)

Jennifer DeSha
Apr 5
5 min read

Updated: Apr 18

Welcome to my Unmasking Autism series. This is where I share what I’m learning as I begin to understand my autistic experience and gently come home to myself. These posts are personal, honest, and written with tenderness for the parts of me that have spent years surviving.

For most of my life, I thought something was wrong with me.

Every time I went out to eat, I ordered the same thing. Every time.

While everyone else seemed adventurous—trying new foods, switching it up, exploring menus—I stayed in my lane.

And I was embarrassed about it.

🍽️ What “safe foods” actually are

Safe foods aren’t about being picky.

They’re about predictability.

predictable taste
predictable texture
predictable experience

When your brain processes the world differently, that kind of consistency matters.

It removes uncertainty.

And that’s regulating.

🧠 Why repetition feels good (not limiting)

Eating the same foods isn’t a lack of growth.

It’s your body choosing what it knows is safe.

There’s no guessing. No risk of sensory overwhelm. No unexpected textures or flavors that throw everything off.

It’s not restriction—it’s stability.

🍴 The restaurant experience

This was always the hardest part for me.

Sitting at a table where everyone is ordering something new…and I’m ordering the same meal I always do.

I used to feel like I needed to explain it. Or justify it. Or apologize for it.

Like I was doing something wrong just by being consistent.

🤍 The shift: nothing is wrong with you

At some point, I stopped trying to force myself to be different.

And I started paying attention instead.

My body wasn’t failing me. It was protecting me.

Choosing the same foods wasn’t something to fix, it was something to understand.

🌿 Giving yourself permission

You don’t have to expand your food choices to be valid.

You don’t have to eat like everyone else.

You don’t have to push yourself into discomfort just to look “normal.”

If your body has found foods it trusts…

that’s a good thing.

🤍 Final thoughts

There’s a lot of pressure to be flexible, adventurous, and easygoing.

But not everything that looks like limitation actually is.

Sometimes, it’s just your body choosing what keeps you steady.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

For most of my life, I have been embarrassed about how “picky” I am with food.

Especially in restaurants.

If you’ve ever gone out to eat with people who love trying new things, you know the vibe.

Everyone is excited to be adventurous. They’re sharing bites. They’re ordering something they can’t pronounce. They’re asking the server for the chef’s recommendation.

And then there’s me.

Ordering the same thing… again.

Not because I want to be difficult. Not because I’m trying to be boring. But because I already know what works for me, and food is not something my nervous system enjoys gambling with.

For a long time, I thought this was a flaw. I felt like I should be more adventurous. I felt childish. I felt awkward. I felt like the outlier at the table. I would overexplain, apologize, or try to force myself to “just try it” to prove I wasn’t dramatic.

Learning I’m autistic completely changed the way I understand this.

Because “picky eating” isn’t always picky.

Sometimes it’s sensory.

Sometimes it’s regulation.

Sometimes it’s safety.

Autism and picky eating are often sensory, not stubborn

Autism can impact how we experience taste, smell, texture, temperature, and even the unpredictability of food. When people say “just take a bite,” they’re assuming the bite will feel like a normal level of discomfort.

For me, and for many autistic people, it’s not a normal level of discomfort.

A smell can hit me like a wall. A texture can feel unbearable. A combination of flavors can overwhelm me. A surprise ingredient can ruin the entire meal.

And when my sensory system is already overloaded, food sensitivity gets even stronger.

So it makes sense that my body prefers the familiar.

It makes sense that I choose predictability.

It makes sense that I stick to what I know.

Safe foods are not childish, they are supportive

One of the most validating things I learned was the concept of safe foods.

Safe foods are the foods that feel predictable and manageable. They meet my sensory needs. They don’t surprise me. They don’t trigger overwhelm. They’re the foods I can rely on when my nervous system is tired, stressed, or already carrying too much.

Safe foods help me stay regulated.

And when you’ve spent your life feeling dysregulated, the ability to eat something that brings your body peace is not a small thing.

It is a gift.

Why I order the same thing every time

Let’s talk about restaurants specifically, because that’s where my embarrassment used to spike the most.

I used to feel awkward that I could go to the same place ten times and order the exact same thing every single time. No experimenting. No switching it up. No “let’s be adventurous.”

Just the same order, on repeat.

And honestly… thank God.

Thank God my body was made to love and accept the same foods on repeat.

Because the older I get, the more I realize that consistency is not something I need to apologize for. It’s something my nervous system thrives on.

Ordering the same thing means:

I know what the texture will be
I know what the flavors will be
I know I won’t be stuck trying to force myself through something overwhelming
I know I’ll actually eat and feel satisfied
I know my stomach won’t be fighting for its life later
I know I won’t leave the meal dysregulated and ashamed

That is not boring.

That is wise.

That is accommodation.

That is me taking care of myself.

“Just try it” isn’t always safe

I know some people mean well when they push others to try new foods, but I want to name something gently.

For autistic people, food exploration can be a big ask.

It’s not just a preference change. It can involve sensory distress, gag reflex, nausea, panic, and shame. And if you already have dietary restrictions, stomach sensitivities, or a history of disordered eating, the pressure gets even heavier.

Trying new foods is possible for some people, sometimes, in the right setting. But it should never be forced. It should never be used as a measure of maturity. And it definitely shouldn’t come with ridicule.

Support helps. Pressure hurts.

What I’m learning about self compassion and food

Unmasking autism is teaching me that I don’t have to eat like other people to be normal. I don’t have to prove I’m adventurous to be grown. And I don’t have to apologize for having a nervous system that needs predictability.

Safe foods are not something to outgrow.

They are something to honor.

Now, instead of being embarrassed, I’m trying to see my food preferences as a form of self-knowledge. I’m learning to choose meals that keep me regulated. I’m learning to make peace with my repeat orders. I’m learning to stop performing “normal” at the table.

Because food is not a stage.

Food is care.

And I deserve to be cared for, even by myself.

xo,

Thank you for being here. If any part of this resonated, I hope you feel a little less alone. I’m still learning, still unmasking, and still choosing compassion over shame one moment at a time.

P.S. Around here we talk unmasking autism, autistic burnout, sensory overload regulation, safe foods and picky eating, noise sensitivity tools, and what it really looks like to unmask as an adult woman.